<Redacted> asks: "What is the best way to let your lover know she is letting herself go and isn't turning you on anymore?"
Ooh, good question. This is something that Dan Savage has written about a few times in his column Savage Love. I'd try to see if I could find something that he says if I were you.
If *I* were letting myself go, what I'd want my lover/boyfriend to say is something along the lines of this:
"Hey, would you ever be interested in working out with me? I am thinking of starting a new health regime where I eat healthy and work out x days a week, and I'd really like a partner in crime to help keep me on track. It'd be a lot of fun and we'd both look sexier. Think of how fantastic fucking will be with our perfectly sculpted bodies."
I know that dialogue sounds a bit silly, but if you do it in a flirtatious and playful tone, it won't be so cheesy.
Be sure to do this when she's in a generally good mood. If she seems easily agitated, or if she switches into a sad and/or mad mood easily, save it for when she seems more stable. You really wouldn't want her to retort with, "What, do you think I'm fat?!"
If she DOES retort with that, the best thing to say might be:
"No, I don't think you're fat. I think that being healthy is a really great thing to be, and it's important to me that my lover be able to keep up with me in terms of physical standards. It'd mean a lot if you'd do this with me. Plus, women who take care of their bodies are incredibly sexy and turn me on a lot."
Anyway, good luck! Let me know how it goes.
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